Month: July 2016

The Impact of the GLS | The Power of Mentorship

Posted on July 11, 2016 by - Calling, Leadership Development, Nonprofit, North America, Stories

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Bryan Zeamer, business-owner and founder of a non-profit ministry in Manheim, Pennsylvania, had his world rocked after hearing the opening session, “Holy Discontent” at the 2005 Global Leadership Summit.

“That day, I made a commitment to myself and the Lord that I would make a difference for His Kingdom.”  After returning home, Bryan was consumed with a desire to turn the message into an action plan.  What he couldn’t figure out, however, was “the thing” that was his Holy Discontent.  He began to ask those closest to him what they thought.  It was confirmed for him rather quickly when his wife, Heather, didn’t think twice before responding, “When men don’t do what God intends for them to do. “

“In that moment, the Holy Spirit breathed into me the vision for what would become Men Of Iron,” Bryan recalls.  As he wrestled with how to translate his discontent into a workable plan for impacting the Kingdom, he reflected on his own life.   While observing those around him, he became aware of the difference he saw in the lives of men who chose to honor God and those who didn’t.

“Several years before the 2005 GLS, I had a powerful experience that prepared me for the ministry God was unfolding.  I was a 30-year-old husband and father and an active member of my church.  One Sunday, I was praying at the altar and felt a man lay his hands on my back and pray for me.  It was a powerful and pivotal moment.  When I walked back to my seat, I saw that is was Bob Bender, a Godly, servant-leader in our congregation, who had prayed for me.  For several days, I thought about that.  I decided that I wanted my life to reflect the values and integrity I saw in Bob.  I asked him to mentor me, and he said ‘yes’.  We met regularly to discuss the many successes and challenges in my life.  As a new husband and father and a young businessman just starting in the family business, I had a lot of questions.  Bob taught me how to rely on God with the strength and faith that God intends. “

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“I think Bob’s strongest testimony to me was when his wife, Vi, passed away from cancer.  Even as he grieved the loss of his wife, he had an unwavering faith.  In the midst of despair, his relationship with God didn’t falter.  I was challenged by his solid hope in Christ and his gratitude in knowing that God would use him for His purposes. “

Bryan began to realize the power of mentorship as he experienced the life-changing impact of Bob’s example.   He wanted to pay forward the lessons he learned from Bob and other Godly men.

13305031_1189977354347264_1494489235335630255_oBryan was challenged to take action toward a grander vision.  “Once I identified my Holy Discontent, I wrote out a plan for a men’s mentoring program.  When I presented it to my pastors, they immediately caught the vision, and the planning began.”Print

In 2006, the church launched its first Men of Iron class with 20 men- 10 mentors, 10 protégés.  Using the book As Iron Sharpens Iron by Howard and William Hendricks and drawing on his own experiences with coaches, business consultants and his mentor, Bryan trained the mentors and assisted in matching mentors and protégés.  The following year, the ministry grew to 40 men.

“We believe the local church is the hope of the world, and our mission is to ‘Sharpen Men and Strengthen the Church’.  In 2016, we are excited and grateful to have partnerships with 18 churches with an additional 7 joining this year.  By the end of 2016, we expect to have impacted 2,000 men with one-on-one intentional, biblical mentoring.  The power of one-on-one mentoring is changing men, their families and their communities.  We believe it is only a matter of time until Men of Iron will impact the culture around the world.

God uses the GLS to speak into leaders’ lives. What might God say to you this GLS season?

 

Do You Filter Your Relationships? You Probably Should

Posted on July 11, 2016 by - Articles, Emotional Intelligence, Leading Others, Relational Intelligence, Wellness

Growing up as a Christian, I was taught I should forgive and accept everybody. I still believe that. But what forgiving and accepting has looked like over the years has changed.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received was given to me by my friend Ben. We were taking a break from a writing project, sitting out on my deck when I brought up some trouble I was having with a friend.

I’d grown a little tired of this friend using me and I was losing trust.

Ben said something I’d never forget.

He said, You know, Don, there are givers and takers in this life, I got rid of the takers years ago and I’ve been better for it. I’d recommend you do the same. To be sure, this was reductionistic but Ben was making a general point.

The point is this: Some people aren’t trustworthy. He’s right. And if we don’t believe that, I think we’re being naive.

I took Ben’s advice.

I let the friend go and I’ve hardly talked to him since. I simply lost trust in him. There were too many lies, too many victim speeches, too much manipulation. It’s remarkable to me how some people can’t learn and can’t change.

He’d had a track record of building communities only to hurt people, play the victim and then walk away and build another.

To me, though, letting my friend go doesn’t contradict being accepting and forgiving. In fact, it was much easier to forgive my friend after I created a strong boundary against his schemes. I have no ill will against him. In fact, I’m grateful my friend taught me what an untrustworthy person looks like, and I am no longer naive.

These days I have a filter against the kinds of people I’ll be close to.

Here are three kinds of people I keep at a distance:

False Victims: If somebody identifies as a victim (even a strong pessimistic attitude toward life) I keep my distance. Sooner or later people who identify as a victim are going to paint you as an oppressor. Victims need to be victims of somebody, and you can count on it that that somebody is going to be you eventually. Believe it or not, there are people who want to be victims because when they are victims, they don’t have to take responsibility for their lives and they think they will attract help or a rescuer. Certainly you may wrong a friend—we all do, but you want friends who will talk openly and honestly about what you’ve done and make amends, not flop on the floor like a European soccer player.

If somebody is overly victim-like, be careful.

Bullies: The quickest way to identify a bully is to notice what a person laughs at. Bullies do not laugh at themselves, they laugh at others. If somebody makes fun of others but isn’t self deprecating, they’re a taker and not a giver. Ever heard a loud-mouth political talk-show host make a self-deprecating joke? Most likely not. Bullies make great radio-show hosts, for sure. I keep my distance from people who can’t laugh at themselves and have zero friends who aren’t objective about themselves and others. There’s an entire Pandora’s box that goes along with this personality and I’m not interested. If you have friends who are bullies, it may be because they “protect” you in some way. I’d keep my distance all the same. Bullies protect others on the condition that others submit. That’s an unhealthy relationship.

Get some strength and learn to protect yourself. You don’t need them to do that for you.

Overly Religious: I love people who have a sincere, open and honest faith. These are some of my favorite people. But when a person starts proof-texting using Bible verses about why they’re right and somebody else is wrong (even if it’s true), I’ll keep my distance. This goes along with bullying, to be honest. It’s all about controlling others. When somebody’s faith helps them realize their own depravity and walk in honesty, I want them close, but when somebody uses religion to gain authority, I’m out.

All of this may sound calloused, but as we get older, we realize there are people in the world who refuse to mature. Maturity means we are honest, safe and transparent.

A mature person understands their faults and admits to them. An immature person is looking for power in some kind of game.

If you want to be mature, surround yourself by mature people.

Am I being unkind and leaving people behind? Perhaps. But being left behind was their decision.

If a person wants to lie, make fun of others or not deal with their own depravity, they need to spend some time alone until they can learn to grow up.

I learned a lot about how to be a better person and how to surround myself with better people from Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s book Safe People (not a sponsored link and I’m not compensated for my recommendation).

If you find yourself struggling with the quality of people you’re surrounded by, consider reading Safe People and creating personal boundaries for whom you’re willing to interact with. Another benefit of reading Safe People is that it helped me realize the many ways I was unsafe. I’d like to be more safe to my friends, for sure.

What kind of people do you try to surround yourself with? What are the qualities you look for in friends? What’s an absolute no for you?

Does Your Organization Have a Human Energy Crisis?

Posted on July 7, 2016 by - Articles, Leading Yourself, Wellness

Health doesn’t motivate; it’s vague, innocuous and, as the saying goes, it doesn’t matter until you don’t have it. So why do we keep asking employees: “Do you want to be healthier?”

We need to take a different approach and ask: “Do you want more energy?” That’s what matters to employees, and they understand it. Energy reflects how they feel. It’s an internal barometer for their overall well-being, daily stress levels and amount of fatigue. And it’s the key to achieving their personal mission in life—to what matters most to them.

Human resource

I see this in my work, having collaborated with thousands of business leaders and working with executives at 25 of the Fortune 100 companies, to increase their mental toughness, emotional resilience, nutrition and fitness.

Our most critical resource is human energy, but we fail to manage it correctly. I call it the “human energy crisis.” It’s well known that our physical health is declining, but we’re also experiencing a loss in engagement and focus. In 2014, Gallup reported that obesity had continued to trend up, meanwhile less than one-third of the workforce reports being engaged at the job.

Seeing every side

The most effective antidote to our exhaustion and distractedness is energy management. Energy management is grounded in the sciences of performance psychology, exercise physiology and nutrition. The goal is to train, expand and manage energy capacity to improve health and performance in both work and life. Human energy is the foundation of all experiences in life: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Picture the energy management model as a four-level pyramid, where the bottom—and foundation—is physical health, followed by emotional, mental and spiritual health at the pinnacle. We need to think of health holistically, by paying attention to all four dimensions.

“The energy management principles lead us to focusing on what matters most, emotionally connecting more effectively, eating more nutritionally and moving strategically throughout the day.”

Let’s take a closer look at the dimensions. Physical energy is derived from nutrition, fitness, sleep and recovery. Emotional energy is associated with opportunistic emotions and resilience; what inspires engagement, confidence and interpersonal effectiveness. The mental domain consists of focus, awareness, mindfulness and having positive stories about yourself and your life. Spiritual energy is associated with your personal mission, or what matters most to you. When we invest energy in these dimensions, we get a higher return.

Supporting stats

Could energy management be a primary tool to get people healthier, more engaged and more productive? I believe so, and we have data to back it up. Take being more physically active during your workday as an example. In different organizations we asked people to simply move every 25-30 minutes (not necessarily taking a break, but working while moving) and found improved focus, better engagement, heightened energy levels (both at work and at home) and improved intrinsic motivation.

Through energy management, we learn the “how” to get more energy and the “what to do,” to live a life with more of it. Organizations can help individuals shift from seeing healthy behavior as a task to seeing it as a means to achieving what they want in life. The energy management principles lead us to focusing on what matters most, emotionally connecting more effectively, eating more nutritionally and moving strategically throughout the day.

The results

I’ve witnessed clients lose weight, become more active, improve relationships, enhance their social well-being, handle stress better and be more engaged in their lives.

It’s important to note, however, that employee wellness begins with leadership. When leaders clearly define and invest in their own purpose and mission, they serve as role models for their organization. By managing your energy, you not only have more of it, your healthy behaviors can rub off on your employees and lead to a fully engaged and energized organization.