Sheila Heen’s excellent talk unpacks the challenges and opportunities we face when we receive feedback. She identifies three different kinds of feedback: appreciation, coaching and evaluation, and describes how clarity in understanding the kind of feedback we receive helps us understand it more easily.
Sheila Heen has spent more than two decades teaching Negotiation at Harvard Law School, specializing in our most difficult conversations—where disagreements are strong, emotions run high and relationships become strained. Her firm, Triad Consulting, works with executive teams to strengthen their working relationships, work through tough conversations and make sound decisions together. Heen has applied her expertise across a diverse range of companies and cultures including Pixar, Hugo Boss, the NBA, the Federal Reserve Bank, AT&T, and many family businesses, as well as not-for-profits, the Singapore Supreme Court and the Obama White House. She has written two New York Times bestsellers, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well.
Jared C. Wilkins is the Lead Pastor at Parkcrest Christian Church in Long Beach, CA. He creates environments that are irresistible to life change through vision, teaching and intentional development. He has a masters degree from Duke University and has served as a Teaching Pastor and Ministry Director at Willow Creek Community Church as well as churches in North Carolina and Oklahoma prior to coming to Parkcrest.
Show Notes
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Sheila Heen’s excellent talk unpacks the challenges and opportunities we face when we receive feedback. She identifies three different kinds of feedback: appreciation, coaching and evaluation, and describes how clarity in understanding the kind of feedback we receive helps us understand it more easily.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Feedback is how we learn about ourselves and the impact we are having on the world.
Receiving feedback is a skill in which we can all get better.
Feedback sits at the junction of two human needs: the need to learn and grow, and the need to be accepted just as I am.
There are three kinds of feedback: appreciation, coaching and evaluation.
When feedback is incoming, we often look for what is wrong with it, which blocks learning.
Instead of immediately deciding if the feedback is right or wrong, work to better understand what the giver means.
We need friends who can act as supportive mirrors and honest mirrors.
The key to getting valuable and helpful feedback is to ask “one-thing” questions.
What’s one thing you particularly appreciate about me?
What’s one thing you see me doing—or failing to do—that you think I should change?
REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
Think about your most recent performance review. In what ways did the evaluation affect your ability to hear the appreciation and the coaching?
Most people have someone they rely on to be a supportive mirror. Heen talks about the need for an honest mirror as well. As you think about your friends and colleagues, identify a person you could comfortably ask to be an honest mirror.
How might Heen’s advice about asking “one-thing” questions improve your process for asking and receiving feedback?
Sheila Heen
Founder | Triad Consulting GroupJared Wilkins
Lead Pastor | Parkcrest Christian ChurchEp 006: Sheila Heen
TOPICS IN THIS PODCAST
InfluenceLeading OthersPerformance ManagementSheila Heen’s excellent talk unpacks the challenges and opportunities we face when we receive feedback. She identifies three different kinds of feedback: appreciation, coaching and evaluation, and describes how clarity in understanding the kind of feedback we receive helps us understand it more easily.
On This Podcast
Sheila Heen
Triad Consulting Group
Sheila Heen has spent more than two decades teaching Negotiation at Harvard Law School, specializing in our most difficult conversations—where disagreements are strong, emotions run high and relationships become strained. Her firm, Triad Consulting, works with executive teams to strengthen their working relationships, work through tough conversations and make sound decisions together. Heen has applied her expertise across a diverse range of companies and cultures including Pixar, Hugo Boss, the NBA, the Federal Reserve Bank, AT&T, and many family businesses, as well as not-for-profits, the Singapore Supreme Court and the Obama White House. She has written two New York Times bestsellers, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well.
Jared Wilkins
Parkcrest Christian Church
Jared C. Wilkins is the Lead Pastor at Parkcrest Christian Church in Long Beach, CA. He creates environments that are irresistible to life change through vision, teaching and intentional development. He has a masters degree from Duke University and has served as a Teaching Pastor and Ministry Director at Willow Creek Community Church as well as churches in North Carolina and Oklahoma prior to coming to Parkcrest.
Show Notes
Get free, instant access to GLS Podcast Episode Show Notes. Leverage episode summaries, key takeaways, reflection questions, resources mentioned, related links and applicable downloads, including Show Notes PDF and Episode Audio File (MP3).
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SUMMARY:
Sheila Heen’s excellent talk unpacks the challenges and opportunities we face when we receive feedback. She identifies three different kinds of feedback: appreciation, coaching and evaluation, and describes how clarity in understanding the kind of feedback we receive helps us understand it more easily.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Doug Stone
Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen
Evangelical Free Church of America
John 15:12-17
RELATED LINKS:
Triad Consulting
The Global Leadership Summit
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