Ep 082: The Emotionally Safe Leader, Lysa TerKeurst & Jason Jaggard

SUMMARY:

“Leadership is hard, and you will get hurt,” says author Lysa TerKeurst. While forgiveness is more commonly addressed in a counselor’s office than a corporate boardroom, Lysa TerKeurst cites evidence that a leader’s ability to forgive is a game-changer for organizational culture. In this episode, Lysa sits down for a vulnerable conversation with elite executive coach, Jason Jaggard, challenging you to work toward forgiveness and create emotionally safe workplaces where innovation can flourish.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• One of the biggest barriers to innovation is fear—and one of the biggest anecdotes to fear is forgiveness.  

• If you have created a culture where grace doesn’t freely flow, your team’s response to your shortcomings will boomerang back on you. 
• Leadership is hard and you will get hurt.  
• Leadership means people love you until they don’t. 
• You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you. 
• Signs of bitterness in the workplace: sarcasm, the curse of the comeback, pre-meditated resentments, jumping to worst-case scenarios and more. 

• When you’ve been wronged, you see the other person as the sinner and yourself as the saint. In reality, you are both called to be servants. 
• The most crucial part of forgiveness is for us to recognize how much we need it. 
• We think resentment gives us a pass and protects us. In reality, resentment imprisons us.  
• You can tell someone is in pain by how much they present themselves as wronged in their stories. 
• Grief is dreaming in reverse. When we dream, we envision something that’s going to happen in the future. When we grieve, we dream about the way things used to be or the way we wanted them to be. 

• Memories of the past can become triggers that cripple you in the present.  
• When it’s hysterical, it’s historical. 
• When faced with a painful memory:
  • Collect the dots–identify the memories that are causing you pain 
  • Connect the dots–look for the connection between the memories 
  • Correct the dots–try to find a new path to a better story 

• Ask yourself, “What is the pervasive shame-filled lie that I keep telling myself?” 
• Figure out, “What is the new script that will combat that lie?” 
• When you walk into a room, don’t let your script define the interaction. 
• The very best time to forgive is before you were ever offended. The next best time is now. 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

1. In this podcast,Lysa identified four signsof bitterness and unforgiveness on a team. Which one(s) do you see operating on your team? 

• • Sarcasm 
  • The curse of the comeback 
  • Pre-meditated resentments 
  • Jumping to worst-case scenarios 

2. When those kinds of behaviors exist, howdoesit affect your team culture? 

3. Based on the process Lysa went throughto identifythe pains in her life, what is a painful shame-filled lie that might be affecting your interactions in the workplace? 

4. How can you write a new script to combat that lie?

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Forbes article: Forgiveness as a Business Tool 

Forbes article: Forgiveness: The Secret to Innovation 

Inc.com article: Forgiveness: A Key Tool for Business Success 

It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered 

Table Stakes 

Forgiving When You Can’t Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories and Create A Life That’s Beautiful Again 

RELATED LINKS:

Lysa TerKeurst 

2020 GLS Talk, The Most Surprising Hindrance to Innovation (Video) 

2020 GLS Talk, The Most Surprising Hindrance to Innovation (Notes) 

Proverbs 31 Ministries 

Jason Jaggard 

Novus Global 

Paula Faris 

Journeys of Faith with Paula Faris 

The Global Leadership Summit